Hello everyone!
As you've noticed each time I've been attempting to come out of hiatus I've fallen right back into it a few weeks after. There is a reason for this. For about 3 years now I have been superbly confused on what direction to take my life in. I know I can draw. I know I can drum. I know I can write. And I know with laserfocus dedication I could go somewhere with either of those options. So that's what I've been doing. Pedaling back and forth while struggling to mentally accept the fact I still need side-education for a secure profession.
I got into studying interior works (both repair/renovation and decorative) so it holds my interest at least. After the first month I'm not physically and mentally exhausted after each school day so I am adjusting. And I find myself with excess time given my partner is away working at sea and most of my friends are very busy with their own lives. More importantly, I find myseld with excess energy.
You may have noticed that I've started posting again given for once I stumbled on Inktober right on time. So that has fired me up a lot. I feel I'm exceeding myself every single day in some way and the feeling is wonderful. I took my first step back to the art focus and finally created an artist page on facebook-
(
www.facebook.com/AnnabelKArts )
-so I keep posting daily and already see some people have taken an interest in possibly commissioning me. It's been livening me up a lot and restoring incentive in myself.
Given a few failures on the way the last 3 years, I've been spectacularly afraid of wasting time. And that overthinking paralized me and thus wasted my time even more. That's why I haven't been able to decide towards definite actions. It took a proper verbal metaphorical slap in the face from my partner to finally snap me out of it. I still fall back to overthinking from time to time, but the fact I dared to create the page finally is a huge step forward to me.
I'm slowly coming back from being afraid and Inktober is a big part of it.